Love. Ai. Amore.

I just need to vent a bit. :p

Apparently, a friend of mine was freaking hurt by someone.
I feel so bad for him cause i've been there, done that.
I just cried over it, throwed some things and just vent out all my negative energy.
It was indeed painful times. I remember how i kept thinking how stupid i was.
Now, i could only say ;
Let it go
Cry about it
Vent out all your anger
Cry about it (more)
Move on................i know...easier said than done.

Nite.

Random rants....

It's lunch time! And hey, you wanna you go out with your bf/bffs/friends/family to grab something.

Then you pop the question,'Where do you(guys) want eat?'

Then at the same time, they'll ask you the same question 'Where do YOU wanna eat??'

Then you go on saying ' I'm asking YOU.'

Then they say ' Up to you la.'

Then you continue this meaningless conversation till you guys decided to stop when you see something on the way.

And that just wasted about 15-20 minutes of your life...

THE END.

I get this situation almost every single day.
It is really that hard to make a decision?!

I'm gonna have to get dress now...

IT'S FUCKING 5 AM ALREADY!

Mondays....*kills*

They're gone....T.T

Sigh....they've gone home last night. *tears building*

*sob* We went to Paddy's for the last time to stock up some Macadamias and more souvenirs. They bought like 2 kg of Macadamias! I'm pretty sure my mom will finish it quickly.

My sis was hunting for a big and cheap wombat plush, which she finally didn't get... *sweat* She's obsessed with it! She requested that if i do go back before i start my Pattiserie course that i bring her a big one. *double sweat* (<.<)

Ugh! Lucky i don't wear makeup often! My eyes keep tearing up... *sob* I just feel sad...i can't explain why....*sob sob*

I'll leave now....

The Great Depression

They're going home tomorrow. Sigh.... I'm slightly sad, but i can't pinpoint why? Maybe just because they're family. It's such a important word. I dunno, everyone asking when i'm tying the knot. Truth is, i dun want to just yet.

Why?? I dunno. Do i need a piece of paper to certify our love for one another? Perhaps? I do have my doubts from time to time. I'm pretty sure there's no other guy out there who wants me right now. But i just dun understand it. Why must someone get marry to another after knowing that person more than a year or so?

I suddenly don't understand the point in marriage. Why get married? Isn't love enough? Somehow, whenever i see married couples, i always see them change.

Dating stage: Holding hands everywhere, a PDA from time to time, the chemical reaction is there, IT SPARKS!

After marriage: Front and back, sometimes don't even bother to answer calls from one another, kids...(Don't get me wrong, but i like kids as long they're not mine and i can return them.) You just see the separation right there. It's so obvious!

Sigh, i don't really like changes in relationships. I just feel very insecure to take the next step. I'm only turning 21 this year and just because i dated the same guy for 3 years doesn't mean i have to get married to him, RIGHT?

My mom is urging me to tie the knot. She was like 'Quickly, get registered. Wedding party can come much later.' I dun want that. I mean it's convenient but it's a once in a life time thing. How can you rush it? I dun want to do it just because Ben's planning to buy a car and house right here.(He's planning to stay in Sydney for at least another 3-5 years if he does get sponsorship from his head chef/company.)

I dun want to wait that long to move forward in my life. I want to travel as much as i can, i want to see Japan and Paris before i turn 25. There's so many things i want to do right now. I dun want to get stuck with marriage. It's static. I get bored fairly quickly,if i dun see any changes in them, i jump boat. I dun want to be unfair to Ben but i dun want to compromise my life.

I seriously don't know where am i heading right now. I have lost my sense of direction in life...I kept looking back at things i could have done but didn't with much sense of regret. I'm an example of epic failure. I really am...